Top 5 reasons why most relationships fail nowadays ?

Hello everyone, Do you know that more than 70 percent of new relationships fail in the very first year? Today we are going to share with you the top 5 reasons why most relationships fail. So before starting off with my just I want you to know why I chose to write about this certain topic. The first time I realized how important and serious this is was last month as I was waiting to board a flight back to Pakistan at the Heathrow airport after spending an amazing summer with my cousins who live in London.

Not just this vacation but in fact all the times I had traveled abroad and explored different parts of the world it taught me many different things each time . What I loved the most was differentiating all kinds of people, nationalities, religions and traditions and then comparing them with each other and even with myself to see what differences and similarities we all had with one another.

So coming to the part when I was waiting to board my flight back to Pakistan. While there was still time left I kept thinking to myself how every single one of us is different from each other and have our own different stories and experiences to share. While I was lost in my thoughts something that I had never given a second thought popped up in my head and left me in surprise. I’ve almost traveled more than half the world and have met thousands of people with different personalities, identities and what not but I had never thought about this one thing that all of them and everyone I knew had in common and I’m sure most of you guys and everyone you know also has gone through it at some point in life. Yes I’m talking about getting our hearts broken that is something almost everyone over the age of hitting puberty has witnessed. In almost all the stories I’ve heard from people there’s a bad and a good partner in them even worse in some cases both the partners are confident that they were not the reason of the break up. I think either they are pretending to cover up their fuck ups or maybe they just really don’t know what they did was unacceptable and caused them to part ways. Do you know that 70 percent of all relationships end in the first year of dating and that’s the saddest thing I’ve found out lately. This is the reason I wanted to write about this topic so I could raise awareness of this issue even if that means in just a few people I would still be glad to do so . Now that you know why I chose to write about this let’s start with mentioning the top five most common reasons that cause most relationships to fail.

1- Understanding

The first reason on my list is also a very common reason behind a majority of relationships not being able to work out. Both men and women have this problem of understanding the needs of one another . Firstly they need to accept that no matter what they do there are always going to be gender differences and to have a healthy relationship they will have to understand the needs of their partner. Some of the most common things that both the genders fail to understand are

 

  • Men need sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to have sex
  • Men need to play well to feel good in sports and women need to feel good to play well
  • Men need to feel respected and appreciated with words or gestures. Women need your actions to be backed up with word 

2– Love is blind

Some scientists at the University College London have shown us that love indeed is blind. They found out that feelings of love lead to a suppression of activity in the areas of the brain controlling critical thought . In other words once we feel close to a person, our brain decides that it’s not necessary to assess their character or personality too deeply and that is why most couples are all lovey dovey at the start of the relationship. The problem here is that this phase doesn’t last forever and after a couple of months or a year max the new relationship euphoria begins to wear off and the reality starts setting in and both the partners start seeing each other as they really are . Now if both of them had been honest with each other from the start or have not made a false first impression of themselves then they don’t have to worry about anything but that’s not the case most of the time and this becomes a major reason why many relationships fail.

3- Trust

  • Another very common reason why most relationships fail is the lack or loss of trust. It is one of the most harmful contagions to a couple’s long-term success and without trust, a relationship misses two of the key factors to a strong bond , safety and security. Trust issues could arise due to a number of reasons that may include jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing or lack of reliability. Most of the time the reason behind trust issues is not even true and something we have assumed ourself. I believe that’s someone who is having trust issues should honestly consider whether the lack of trust is based on tangible substance or unjustified fears.
  • 4- Lack of communication

  • Lack of communication in couples is considered to be one of the top reasons behind breakups and even divorce. The situation gets worse when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship Contempt is the opposite of respect and is often expressed via negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual. The best solution to that is to talk to your partner and clear any mis understanding there is between you guys because not communicating with each other could make the situation worse and even lead to an end of the relationship.

  • 5- Immaturity and lack of commitment

The last but definitely not the least reason why most relationships fail is because either one or even both the partners are still immature. The best example of this are teenage relationships. Almost all teenage relationships fail because most of the high school going kids are in it for the fun specially the boys. They are the kind of people who are in it just for the relationship and not the person they are with in that relationship. These kind of relationship are bad for the person who actually is in love and really does care about their partner but little do they know that there is no future for them with that immature and selfish person.

 

Lessons I learned in my 20’s which I wish I had known earlier

  • Hello everyone , for those of you who might not know well currently I’m in my twenties infact I just turned 25 last month. This post is about the lessons I learned after turning twenty in other words which I learned in the last five years of my life. I also wish I had known them earlier in life that way I could have saved myself alot of trouble . Anyways I have no regrets and I believe that everything happens for a reason , it’s still better late than never . Those who are young and reading this Im sure that you guys can benefit from these facts or lessons about our life so let’s start shall we?
  • 1. Life doesn’t wait for anyone, it goes on

    The first lesson on my list is that life doesn’t stop for anyone no matter how famous or rich they are there’s no way around life. You need to know that your problems are only your problems and other people might show sympathy or pretend like they can feel you and are upset for what you’re going through but that’s mostly just out of courtesy probably to get along with you and in reality no one really cares about what you are feeling and why , yes there might be some people and by some I mean the very few people that are really close to you and only they might genuinely care for you for example your blood relations . You also need to learn that there might be difficult times but always remember that life is like a coin and it also has two sides a good and a bad one. Learn to be strong in the bad phases of life and remind yourself that the world has no pity for you and that time doesn’t stop for anyone either keep up or get left behind

    2. Choose a profession that you are passionate about

    The second lesson on my list plays a major role in determining where you are going to stand financially in the years to come. We have been brain fed since we are little children in schools till the day we graduate from University to only focus on our grades and if someone doesn’t want to be a doctor or engineer our society starts considering them below average and even a no brainer. I don’t really get how is someone who is passionate about some other field of profession take for example media or journalism any less than a doctor or engineer ? This pressure is the reason many students are forced to commit suicide every year and it’s sad how in such modern times our thinking is the same as it was a couple hundred years ago. I believe that a person who is passionate about another profession can be more successful in that specific field compared to If they were to be a doctor or a scientist.

    We as a society need to do something about this thinking and move on from it so everyone can do whatever they love to do or have a passion for that way I can guarantee more examples of success than failures in the upcoming years

    3. It’s better to learn from other people’s mistake than your own

    There is this saying that I’ve heard multiple times from a number of people and I’m sure you might have heard it too coming from someone atleast once in your life it is that ‘we should learn from our mistakes and I used to believe in it myself and thought it was a wise advice for years . Now let me tell you something since the past couple of years I started feeling a bit mature and also started realising how this world really is a cruel place so I decided to myself that I will listen to what everyone has to say but will only do what my brain or inner instinct tells me to do. During this phase I also discovered that rather than learning from my own mistakes why not try avoiding them in the first place and learn from the mistakes of those who have been in the same place as I am today . You know this happens alot , sometimes we even know deep inside us that doing a certain thing would do us harm and doing something else would do us good but we just choose to completely ignore the facts like we are somehow going to dodge the bullet that many people before us couldn’t it’s just part of human nature to consider ourselves better than the ones who came and left before us . In other words everyone knows that smoking or substance abuse could kill them sooner or later but still no one really seems to care and just ignores it until something serious really does happen. How stupid can we be?

    I believe that rather than waiting to make the same mistake others made before us and learning from it after suffering from negative consequences why not take a look at some facts from the past and learn from the mistakes that were made by people before us so we can avoid repeating them that way we won’t have to experience the same consequences win win situation.

    4. It’s not truly necessary to go to the gym in order to stay fit

    We have been brain fed ever since we hit puberty that in order to stay fit and in shape we need to join the gym. I myself shared the same belief until I was tired of trying to lift weight. I was always inspired with Arnold and wanted to build some muscles but little did I know that the way I was trying to achieve that was simply unethical. Would you believe that I have tried to go to the gym 7 times every year once from the age of 13 till 18. The last and the seventh time I had promised myself if it doesn’t work this time I quit and will assume it’s just not my thing. Once again after going for a month barely five days a week I was done and couldn’t bare with the cramps and body aches. I had lost all hope but two years ago I was reading this article from someone who is really smart and fit too. I’m thankful to that person because of what I learned from him . It made so much sense when he said that the reason more than eighty percent of us fail starting off with hardcore exercises at the gym from the very beginning is because our muscles are weak at first. I realised he was right and I was skinny and no matter what I did I didn’t lose or gain weight. He also said that for the first month try only stretches and that’s what I did started off with full body stretches and today it’s a whole year I have muscles and am quite close to having a six pack . After a month of stretching the same gym exercises were like a walk in the park not a single cramp. I can’t believe that now I enjoy going to the gym what seemed like a punishment before . I hope you get my point since it’s an important lesson and mistake most people make.

    5. Stop expecting from others

    The last but surely not the least important lesson I learnt in my twenties is to never keep expectations from just anyone who pretends to be close to you. Do you know that almost every person has been decieved or hurt by someone they knew. What I’m trying to say here is that if we stop and think for a second someone who we don’t know or care for can not even hurt us. Only the people in our life and the ones we choose to trust and expect from can hurt us. We give the keys to them ourselves so please before trusting or expecting from someone be a hundred percent sure that they are worth it because they will either take advantage of you or play with your feelings and one day sooner or later leave you hurting.

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