The internet is full of articles and stories about friendship. Having a good friend nowadays is indeed a blessing. Most of us have that one best friend who has always been there for us. We have a lot of good memories together and would do anything for them but the one thing that annoys me is the fact that everyone just wants to share only the good parts and not the negative aspects of it which is mostly the reality of friendships nowadays but no we just want to portray everything as if it was all just rainbows and butterflies. Let’s get back to our topic for today which is why do we keep going back to a friend who hurts our feelings everytime and deep inside we know they are toxic for us and I’m sure most of us have been through or is going through this but we don’t want to accept it and here im going to share with you five reasons why we don’t put an end to such friendships that are toxic for us
1.You probably keep thinking that things are going to be different next time
The chances are that sometimes you might have a good time with that toxic friend and in that moment you enjoy his or her company so when they have a major blow up or they put you down suddenly you shake it off thinking that maybe next time will be different and there’s a reason behind the way they behaved like that but let me tell you the problem with toxic friends , you are unable to communicate reasonably with them. Whereas you’d probably tell a friend, “Hey, that hurt my feelings” and they would apologize and you’d both move on but you can’t do that in a toxic friendship because your friend just won’t hear it maybe because they are a bully or because they can’t listen to criticism or just because they can’t simply have a conversation that’s not about them. At times you might assume that if you don’t discuss the situation with your toxic friend they would feel sorry for acting badly and would want to do better but this thinking of yours is flawed because it’s based on what you would do and it won’t change the behavior of others .
2. Maybe that toxic friend of yours wasn’t always like this
Sometimes what stops you from putting an end to such a friendship is because maybe that friend of yours wasn’t always this way and somewhere in your mind you think that something changed them into a toxic person or maybe you did something wrong and that you deserve such a behavior well that is not at all true and what I think is that at the beginning of your friendship they were nice to you because they probably had a motive behind it and that is why they became friends with you at the first place im sure if you think about it you will notice what was it that they wanted from you at the first place and I’m sure that is what changed their behavior once you find out the real reason maybe then you can stop blaming yourself and end that toxic friendship.
3. You keep thinking you can change them
Another reason could be that maybe you see yourself as some kind of a friendship warrior and that you are here to make all friendships great but you’re forgetting something very important here which is that no matter what you do and how much you try to change someone it won’t work until and unless they themself also want the same and allowing their negative behavior will only make them think that maybe it’s okay to treat you in such a way. What you need to do here is to be honest with them and tell them kindly that you won’t tolerate bad treatment and if they continue behaving poorly try giving them examples of when they behave that way with you and if they still don’t stop then you’re done . Just to let you know toxic people are notoriously bad at listening and it’s hard to have a genuine conversation about their behavior because they just don’t want to hear it and until they’re ready to listen you can’t help as simple as that.
4. You don’t have alot of friends and are afraid to let go
Another reason could be that sometimes you have a hard time making friends so you hang on to the toxic ones because you think it’s better than being alone . I accept that it’s hard to be lonely but filling up your life with toxic people doesn’t make you feel less lonely because loneliness can only be remedied by deep, meaningful connections with real friends. When you have a friend that understands you I promise you’ll feel less lonely and will value good friendships much more. If you’re lonely just focus on meeting more people and make an effort to form a new friendship with the people you have fun with, who treat you well and who encourage you rather than tear you down.
5. Something from your past makes you think that negative and toxic behaviors are acceptable
The most common reason why most people don’t end a toxic friendship that because of their own personal background that edges them toward acceptance of bad behavior. Maybe you also think this is what friendship is all about but trust me there is a big difference between someone who is just having a bad day and someone who consistently does negative things. The difference is that a genuine friend will feel bad after they hurt you and offer an apology. They’ll mess up from time to time but their intention is not to hurt. If you find that you’re consistently allowing toxic behavior into your friendships or even that all your friends seem to be of this negative nature, seek out a professional who can talk to you about dealing with the perceptions you carry from your past so you can start from the beginning and make healthy relationships with genuine friends this time and trust me there’s nothing wrong in taking the help that you need and always remember that youre not alone in this. You only live once and everyone deserves to have genuine people in their life who really do care for them. I hope this helps good luck for the future.